Modesty for the Modern Girl


I wrote this article back in 2011 as a reply to an article in the Contender. I have finally retrieved it with some help and decided to adapt it for this blog.

As you get older, modesty becomes something you have to address more and more. As your body changed and suddenly you get curves you have to think about how you are going to dress as a young Christian woman. The world tells us from a very young age to wear tight shirts and skirts, shorts that show some cheeks, crop tops that show off your stomach and more. We are told to dress this way so that we are attractive and confident and appealing to the opposite sex. So as girls of grace, how should we be dressing?

As a female, I must admit that when girls are wearing immodest clothing sometimes I have had the attitude of ‘Why don’t guys just look away then?’. But I have come to realise that that’s a bad attitude to have towards the males. Our attitude should be one of love. No, I’m not talking about romantic love here, I’m talking about the Christian love that we should be displaying towards people, and especially the people in our communion of saints. Paul, in his first letter to the Corinthians, wrote that we are not to be a stumbling block to others (I Corinthians 8: 9). In verse 12 he warns “But when you thus sin against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.” Hear that? When one causes someone else to stumble in their faith causing them to sin, one is sinning along with the person who stumbled. So when you are wearing a short, tight dress and a guy looks at your body appreciatively and in a lustful way you shouldn’t be feeling good about that; you should be feeling guilty, as you are the cause of sinful thoughts. If you do not have that guilty feeling then you are not being a humble servant to your fellow believer.

So, summer will come around again. One summer, I needed new bathers and I’m not at all comfortable wearing bikinis but everywhere I looked there were bikinis. And if there were tankinis they were really low at the front or VERY expensive. Yes, it was very hard trying to find bathers and I was ready to give up. But when I expressed my frustration to one of my guy friends he said that guys really do appreciate it when girls dress modestly, even to the beach. This encouraged me and I was able to find a decent pair of modest bathers. You see, it is hard trying to find modest clothing amongst all the short skirts, low tops and skin tight pants but it is worth it. If you look hard enough, thinking of your guy friends and male believers in brotherly love, you will find clothing that works: that makes you look good but not immodest.

But it’s not just for the guys. It’s for ourselves too. As females, do we really want guys from age 13 to 80 looking at us in lust? Do we really want them to tell us we look hot and sexy? I don’t. I’d rather hear that I look beautiful and I know you do too. Purity is important. It should be part of our walk of life in thankfulness to God. It’s in the 10 commandments! The commandment ‘Do not commit adultery’ includes men looking at women in lust and women dressing so that men can look at them in lust. It’s wrong and it’s unchristian. Lord’s Day 41 states that we are temples of the Holy Spirit and therefore we should keep ourselves pure and holy. God does not smile upon the immodest clothing found in our wardrobes. Instead, He is pleased when we dress thinking of Him and of our fellow brothers in Christ.

Kym x

2 thoughts on “Modesty for the Modern Girl

  1. lyn schoof

    Thanks for your lovely words Kym. Can I also add, that as a female, I also struggle not to look at scantily clad women- and not because I am attracted by it! It is just so ‘in your face’ that it demands attention regardless of whether you are male or female. Dressing immodestly makes both men and women uncomfortable. May I suggest that if you really really want to wear that bikini that you save it for your husband only 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kym

      That is so true! My eyes get drawn to it too. And then I cringe knowing that the guys with me have to see it as well and try to stay pure. I wholeheartedly agree with saving your bikini for your husband to see!



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